It was 1 year and 6 days ago when I decided to leave. He had been so bad that I was trembling. Small, tiny, but resonating right through me like a hum. Right down to my cells. I still do tremble like that sometimes, and this morning is one of those times. We aren’t going […]
READ MOREThe Self Adhesive Moustache
All 4 of them were wearing little self adhesive moustaches.. They were having a ball. But apparently you should not poo while wearing one, or at least according to my 4 year old….
READ MOREParents: New Washing Revolution
A revolutionary new washing machine designed with babies, toddlers, and pre schoolers in mind. Works right up until they leave home. #AllTypesOfShit
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Some of The Bottoms in St Tropez
I promised you some men’s bottoms to make things fair. I spent the day on the beach at St Tropez under my Parasol with my sketchbook and darkest sun glasses. Ladies and Gentlemen I am pleased to present Some of The Bottoms at St Tropez:
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Effortless Confessions
I found a box of eggs on the carpet in the corner behind the curtains. They were 2 months past their use by date and like small grenades ready to go off at any moment. I knew immediately who the culprit was. But I didn’t expect Such a total lack of remorse, she barely […]
READ MOREPhotojournalism Goes Insane Over Pickle Story
Reading this story in today’s Metro, I couldn’t help but imagine the following conversation: The Photgrapher “Ok Alan, I think the BEST thing is if you lie flat on the floor with your arms outstretched and hold the ACUTAL jar of pickled onions out towards me as if you’re offering me one. Floor level style. […]
READ MOREConfessions to a Stranger
A brief conversation with a little girl at my daughters school went something like this
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IT’S MINE!
Kids like owning stuff. They especially like owning stuff if someone else already has it.
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